"So which of these three do you think was neighbor to him who fell among the thieves?" (Luke 10:36)
Over the past few weeks, I've been given reason to ponder on some things that have been turning in my head for quite some time - in fact, years.
Do you go to one of those churches where everyone hugs each other and tells them they love them? Sounds good, doesn't it? It can feel good, too. But ... does it mean anything?
"Of course it does!" we respond. We are brothers and sisters in the Lord. We are family. We love each other.
Are we? Do we really?
"Of course we do!"
Ok, let me put the question another way. Do we act like it? Do we demonstrate our love and concern?
I've pondered this in my own life for several reasons, looking at it from both the giving and receiving end. I've also observed three separate situations recently and the evidence they have provided is inconsistent with what we say. Let me share some of those stories to keep it from sounding like just a "poor me" story. There seems to me to be a difference in what we say and what we do.
Situation 1:
A 40-something year old man who ran in marathon races suddenly dropped dead in his home from a heart attack. In spite of faith-filled prayers and CPR, he did not revive. Of course, his wife was in a state of shock. Since there were children involved, she had to "be there" for them while dealing with her own grief and the reality of the sudden change in financial condition since he was the bread winner.
I had talked with someone who had known this couple for many years and was "a sister in the Lord" to them. I was seeking to find out from her what needs might be there. She told me how she had offered to bring pizza over and to do anything that needed to be done. Since no needs were expressed, she did nothing (other than taking some pizza over) and had no suggestions for me of things that needed to be done.
I barely knew this couple. But I knew they had a large family, most of which lived elsewhere, so that means they will need large quantities of food - meat, vegies, and dessert (aka - a meal). You don't ask; you assess the need and act on it.
I later learned that the ex-wife of the man who died (and mother of his oldest daughter) went over and cleaned the house before the out of town relatives arrived. She didn't call and ask; she simply showed up, cleaned the house, and left.
Which of these ladies was a neighbor to this woman? Her sister in the Lord? Or the woman who showed up to clean the house of the widow of her own ex-husband?
Situation 2:
Another 40-something year old man, also very athletic and healthy, collapsed when two aneurysms burst. After struggling for over a week, he, too, passed away leaving a wife and small children.
From what was said by the minister at the funeral services, this couple was very involved in their church. So, in the midst of roller coaster ride while his life hung in the balance and for a period of time afterwards, meals were provided to the family for the children and wife (when she was there to eat) and the extended family from out of town who were staying in their home to care for them while "mom" was at the hospital with "dad." Gift cards were also provided to help buy meals for the wife at the hospital or gas for her or the extended family who were driving back and forth from out of town or whatever was needed. And the lawn was kept cut.
Who did all that? Their church family? No. In as far as I know, they did not do anything. It was their coworkers who provided the food and gift cards and began taking care of the yard. Their neighbors took over the yard care and assisted with the food delivery, if no one was home when it was brought by daily for about a month.
Who were the neighbors to this family? Their church family? Or their coworkers and those who happen to live beside them?
Situation 3:
A man in his early 50s had a massive stroke. Once again, he and his wife were very committed to their local church.
His wife was "living" in the waiting room for the critical care unit, going home only to shower and freshen up and check on the house and the mail. Once again, gift cards for expenses she and their (grown) children were incurring and yard care was provided. Once again, it was his coworkers who provided these; not their church family.
Who were their neighbors?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I could go on with more examples, but I think you get the point. It isn't enough to hug each other and say "I love you." "Love" isn't a word, nor it is a feeling. It's a commitment that elicits action on our part when the one we love is hurting or in need.
Let us ask ourselves ... to whom have we demonstrated our love recently?
7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 9 In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. 10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. (1 John 4:7-11)
